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We are back after a long weekend, July 4th. Hopefully the fireworks didn’t freak out your pets or give Joe Biden flashbacks to the war of 1812. In either case, there’s a lot of carpets that need cleaning today.
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It is weird, though, how even that holiday is considered divisive these days and not even by Brits whose limey asses we kicked. I wasn’t even born. I wasn’t even born. I take credit for it.
But it’s Americans who don’t like it. It’s like only one half of the country gets to enjoy July 4th while the other half must trash it, which is fine. I mean, if you want to make July 4th a right-wing holiday, we’ll take it. You can have Jane Fonda’s birthday, by the way happy 109th. She was great in the Joker.
But it’s not really the case that people hate July 4th. It’s just the people with the pedestals who want you to feel ashamed of this country. So if you’re a fan of America for just one day, somehow that’s a dog whistle. Like you’re celebrating the birthday of Hitler and not the cool one, Steve. I thought it was funny. The guy named Steve Hitler just didn’t think of changing his name.
I mean, they’re already mad that you’re having fun. You throw in family time, the old red, white and blue plus grilled meats. It’s more Americana than limousine lefties can bear. All that’s missing is a t shirt cannon filled with apple pie that you can shoot right into my face.
And so here they come. Barbra Streisand, Jessica Chastain, Bette Midler, Kerry Washington, Ron Perlman, Rob Reiner. They all weighed in. And with Michael Moore, that’s literal. Well, he said that until Roe is reinstated and Congress is 51% female, at any party or dinner that he’s invited to. He will only talk about abortion, which is funny – the assumption that he’s invited to parties. That’s like me saying, until Roe is reinstated, I will not be sleeping with chimpanzees. I know it’s the opposite. Until Roe is…